Hi, I’m Chelsie

So this is my blog. Cool huh? It highlights everything that I love and the things that I’m passionate about! I absolutely love writing about things that are important to me or things that I feel have changed me, molded me or helped make me a better person. I love spending time with my kids, crafting, reading or playing games and being outside is our favorite! I love getting good deals and bargain shopping or looking for coupons! My husband is my very best friend and together we love exercise and healthy eating, but on that note I also LOVE FOOD! So with that being said, that’s the majority of what you’ll find here. And I hope that you love it as much as I do!

Welcome to 3boys1blogandme!

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70 thoughts on “Hi, I’m Chelsie

  1. Hello Chelsie,
    I read your “7 Things My Divorce Taught Me About Marriage”, and as a 66 year old who has been through a traumatic divorce so many years ago, and found fulfillment in a 18 year marriage to a truly beautiful person, I was touched by the note of suffering you express between the lines, and the spirit you show toward learning and being honest about your journey of self discovery.

    As none of us are the masters of Love, the discovery of it and it’s development is a learning process we are all engaged in, whether we are conscious of it or not, for given enough time, so many of the tragic consequences we see of lesser people, would eventually sort themselves out if it were not for the some of the finalities that are inflicted upon ourselves by ignorance. We all do not live long enough to eventually learn the ultimate of lessons. The most important thing I learn,t from my failed marriage, came from the nature of the release of such great forces within myself that taught me through the intensity of suffering, that I had such great needs to fulfill in the desire to love life, others, and most importantly myself. The love of the self, is certainly far from the distortions of a bent narcissistic indulgence, and should be more a phrase referring to a clear self discovery of a quiet state of mind that never leaves you as it is a conscious knowledge of a deep inner peace, combined and inseparable from a sense of how you fit into this great creation we all share, with your small part in it. Through time and self disciplines that gently apply the right thoughts, the correct actions, the right choices, and the best of people around you who support the finest of such pursuits, you will increasingly draw from the well of spiritual strength that grows within you. You will draw people toward you through a developing inner beauty, that will give whatever gifts of physical attribute you may have inherited a remarkable magnetism that oddly enough will only halt in development if you become too self conscious of it! This is why humility and gratitude are practiced by the greatest philosophies and religions. It certainly is seen in our most respected fellows who are always of a selfless nature, and live for others, while feeling that they are short lived mortals in a fleeting gift of life.

    God Bless You Chelsie, and I wish your journey continues blossoming, and fruitful toward some of the great things that the gift of life offers all of us.

    Regards and Love from Stuart and Sarrah Limbrick Gold Coast Australia

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Product of a biracial couple that is still going strong after 45 years of marriage… My parents went through a lot but what won was their commitment to loving each other as husband and wife despite what the world thought…. Blessings to you and yours!

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  2. I wanted to leave a reply for your When lives no longer matter article. I am in an interracial relationship similar to yourself. I have known my significant other for going on three years and thankfully can say I have not experienced any unjust treatment by our local law enforcement in Utah. He has told me stories similar to what your husband had warned you about. Reading your blog, I felt touched because you spoke the truth. I believe you are correct with needing to teach our children to treat everyone with respect. That is how change will come about. We need to stop teaching hate! Thank you for this.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautifully written, and eloquent. I hope millions of people read and heed. All lives are prescious. What really matters is behavior.

    One final statement–Racism is not a white condition. Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Albert Einstein, yes that Albert Einstein called racism ” A Disease of White People”. This in no way says that you have to be able to come up with E=mc2 to understand the the race problem. But it does show is having insight and the integrity to honestly voice what has been arrived at based on facts.Believing something is true because you want it to be is delusional and serves only the continuation of confusion and the delay of truth.

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  4. Please just delete all of the crude comments. You shouldn’t have to warn someone to speak with common decency. You should set your blog to only post a comment after you have approved it for decency. You shouldn’t have to allow such crudeness a platform on your personal blog.

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  5. Hello Chelsie. I just read your “When No Lives Matter” blog. It is beautifully written and charged with emotion. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Be well.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Hi Chelsie,

    I am a white mom to a black son and I just ready your “All Lives Matter.” I am wanting to meet with major leaders in Salt Lake and try to come up with something to help. I would love to meet with you and talk and see what you ideas are on what we can do to better the lives of people. I feel so much like you on being on both sides of the fence, however, I feel like I must do something to try and make it better. I hope this is something you will consider.
    Best,

    Lindsey

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  7. Thank you for your article – We are a white couple who adopted the most beautiful daughter (who just happens to be black). We are raising her to believe all lives matter and to be tolerant to all – your article is an inspiration and even though we stay in South Africa we face many of the same problems as America when it comes to race, segregation and just plain fear – Thank you for your words, as a Mom and a Wife you can be proud of how you are raising your children

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  8. Thank you . Very well put , and I’m sharing your story and page . SO GLAD THAT i FOUND THIS ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE, a NEW FAN ❤ Namaste and Blessings to you and your beautiful family .

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  9. Hi Chelsea
    Read your article on Huff Post – When Lives No Longer Matter. As a mother of two black sons I found certain sections uplifting and others not so much. I would hope you don’t teach your sons to not rob someone but instead to instill core value . Providing moral fortitude as any white family would, is the key. We are not wired differently just because we have more melanin. Admittedly there are certain segments of the black population where this could be emphasized more but make no mistake, we all pay the price. If you teach them anything it is about human nature and human bias which will impact how they behave in day to day situations.

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    1. Hello. I have heard this concern and I agree that I shouldn’t teach my black child differently then my white child. They are both being taught that decisions such as these may result in life ending results which should never be the answer. The examples given are just from recent events in the country that have ended horrifically. I apologize that you may have felt as if I was targeting black children but as I have a white child and a black child I do plan to raise them knowing that there are consequences for their decisions. Regardless of the amount of melanin. Thank you for your feedback. I very much appreciate all sides and opinions.

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    2. “Providing moral fortitude as any white family would, is the key.” Are you serious??? Do realize that this sentence implies that only white parents & family members provide moral fortitude to their children?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Stop, just stop. You sure know she didnt mean it in that way. Comments like this are exactly the reason for whats going on in the world!

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    3. “Providing moral fortitude as any white family would”? Are implying that only whites are capable of providing moral fortitude?

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  10. Actor George “Mr. Sulu” Takei (a friend of 38 years), once told me (1978), “There is only ONE RACE of people on Planet Earth. They are referred to as the HUMAN race.”

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  11. I just read a story posted to my news feed. Very true. At the bottom it gave me the link to your blog. I will read more when I get home tonight. I have a a question though. The name of the blog is 3 boys but you only have 2 of your sons pictured. What happened to your other son?

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    1. The third is my husband. 🙂 we just always joke that he’s one of the boys. But that is a good question! Thank you for asking! Some people have said its demeaning to him but it’s just an inside joke for our family really.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I also call my husband my 1st boy. And now that we have recently taken my brother in, we have 2 girls (my daughter and I) and 3 boys ( husband, son and brother) in the house.

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    2. I am an African American woman! I have a daughter whose father is Italian! She is married to a white man! My granddaughter is white! What do I tell her about being black! About the black struggle or being afraid of the police! That will never be her concern! On the other hand I remarried and had a son who is African American who married a biracial young lady! I have 2 biracial grandchildren who will fill the sting of racism! But we will teach them the struggle, to love themselves, and their history! They will be productive citizens and entrepreneurs! They will know how to be self sufficient because we will see to it that they all get a running start!

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  12. Thank you for writing this article. It isn’t easy to talk about race, but if we really want change, and a better future for everyone, these conversations have to happen.
    Reading this gave me hope that we can realize we have more in common than we have differences!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I like your story, I am writing a book about my wife and I; we met back in 1972 we have one child who is a teacher and we are ret. This Oct. we will be marriage 44 years. We live in a small southern town and back then our relationship did not go over well in the Black or White community. I would like to put your story in with ours if you would let me. O I am a 6’2 black man and my wife is I little White woman. You guys do not let people get too you, with all that we had to thru I would do it again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is the sweetest comment. I cannot tell you just how much I appreciate these words. I feel so inadequate being in such a wonderful book. But if you need anything but this article you let me know. Thank you for being so genuine.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Chelsie, this was wonderfully written and expressed much of the same feelings I have been feeling. I have 3 incredible bi-racial children who have grown into some pretty amazing adults. My youngest is my son, now 22. A tall handsome young man, returned from his mission a year ago and now going to college. I now fear every time he goes anywhere because of the exact reasons that you mentioned in your blog. He even commented to me recently that he is afraid of policemen. This made me feel sad, since I have always and still do feel gratitude and respect for police officers that put their lives on the line every day. Yet… I fear them, as well, when it comes to my son. I do not know what to do with these conflicted feelings and I don’t know what to tell my son. I was somewhat relieved to read your blog because it helped to know someone else was experiencing the same thing.
    It just so happens I was your husband’s 5th grade teacher and feel so happy that he found someone as wonderful as you. He is a great guy from an amazing family I have always admired. The Dort family has a very special place in my heart.

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    1. Roxanne I know how you feel, my wife and I are mix race and we also have an amazing child. She is a masters level teacher and we have been marriage for 43 years; we have had some bad times as I am sure you have. I am writing a book about our life but after reading her blog I would like to tell other mix race couples story as well

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    2. This is what we call fear mongering. Someone may say they are “scared” of the police….but usually it’s criminals saying this. Statistics have proven time and time again that black men are not targets of the police. Relative to crime rates they are not shot more. We more education and less fear mongering based upon liberal ideology.

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  15. Chelsie, you are amazing! I think you all should compile a book of these stories, and quickly. Maybe an e-book? It need not be elaborate. I think the more stories that get out there, the better. Many people, myself included, do not realize what others go through and that makes it hard to understand why there is so much hate & fear. I wish you luck in getting your stories out there.
    Dee

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  16. Chelsie,
    What a beautiful family and such beautiful words you share on your blog. As a mother of only daughters in a predominantly white community I wanted to share that my girls have friends from many different cultural backgrounds. I feel so blessed to say my children and their friends don’t see the color of anyone’s skin nor care what religious background they are from. They hang out, date and delight in the friendships of everyone. I just felt this needed to be shared because we often overlook the positives we experience regarding differences. How lucky we are as parents to help guide our children to being part of our wide interesting world. After all, how boring it would be if we were all the same. Please don’t lose faith, the positive reinforcement you and your husband can impart to your children is invaluable! Thank you for sharing your story.

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  17. I read your “I thought I was prepared to marry A Black Man”. This was really a good read to me because I also have a mixed family. I am asian american wife married to my white husband.

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  18. I just read your article about marrying a black man and I must say it was spot on. I’m a black male so I can directly identify with everything you said, but I lived in Salt Lake City for four years and remember the reactions, comments, and looks when I was out with a non-black woman I was dating. I hope you continue to talk about this topic…especially as it relates to a location like SLC that is generally close minded in so many ways!

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  19. I noticed a lot of white allies are offended when a person of color corrects the insensitive dialogue in this blog. It reminds of this –> “In addition to these fears, our ego often gets in our way. Our wanting to be seen as competent, to be in control, and to be right may show up in unproductive thoughts, including: No one appreciates all that I do! They should know I would never do anything on purpose! No one has ever raised this as a problem before. They just don’t like me and are making a big deal out of nothing. I would never do something racist! These thoughts are examples of how our judgments of others create barriers and obstacles we trip over as we try to respond to the feedback from both people of color and other white allies. There is another defensive reaction that undermines our efforts as change agents: white women’s tears. I have heard many people of color feel deeply frustrated when whites, particularly white women, start to cry when confronted about their behavior. The predictable pattern is that all of the attention quickly gets redirected off of the racist dynamic and focused onto taking care of the white woman while disparaging the person of color for being too aggressive or mean.” … But I’m NOT Racist!: Tools for Well-Meaning Whites https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01NCWVXEY/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_GDVUybJH6DMXD

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  20. Speaking as a woman who has been in an interracial marriage for 27 years and raised two boys from my husband’s previous relationship…I relate to a lot of what you wrote here: http://foreverymom.com/mom-gold/married-a-black-man-chelsie-dort-no-lives-matter/
    I also experienced enough over the years from EVERYONE. Black and white people side eyeing me or making rude comments when I was alone with the children, and much more…but, here we are 27 years strong with two successful young men out in the world.
    Keep on keeping on.
    🙂

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  21. Hi Chelsie
    My I am the publisher of a Caribbean global magazine called Country Vibes Magazine. I saw your article and was quite moved by it – ‘I Thought I Was Prepared to Marry a Black Man, But I Had NO Idea’. I will like your permission to place it in our magazine with you credited. My email is allrhondabusiness@gmail.com.
    I look forward to get a response from you. Keep up your excellent work. You are a great inspiration.

    Rhonda

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  22. Hello,
    This story was aswsome, I say all the time the hate is learned and taught. Why do people hate and judge? Where I come from we were never taught to judge other by the color of their skin. I look at their eyes and when they speak, I really listen and see if its coming from the heart or is it just spoken words. I knew racism existed but it was hidden, like a little secret, but not anymore. I have two grandsons and I fear for them when they grow up. Me and their moms we are trying to instill in them to be honest, loving and respectful, but its very hard in the world today with all that is going on. The worst part for me is everyone acts like its okay and there are no problems. I disagree but where does changes start? In the home yes, but where does it start with an adult???

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  23. Hi Chelsea, thank you for your article on an interracial Marriage. I grew up with a white Mother and black Step-father, and endured meanness I did not think could happen. What you said touched my heart💖

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  24. Hi Chelsea,
    Thank you for your article on interracial marriage. I grew up with a White Mother and a Black Step-Father, and experienced a meanness I did not know could exist in the world. Your article touched me deeply💖.
    I think you have a beautiful family!
    Robin

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  25. Hi Chelsea. I have read your article about how difficult it is to be married to a black man an I felt so identified with you. I made the decision to move back to my home country, Spain, where luckily I don’t have to face those problems. Please continue doing what you are doing.

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  26. Just curious. Who is boy#3 in your blog. You appear to have two children so I’m guessing you’ve labeled your husband as boy #3. I’m sure you meant no harm. Just curious as to whether you’ve given that title any consideration? I did enjoy your story on discovering what it means to be married to a black man. As a sIngle mom these are many of the things I experienced when my son turned 12. He’s 19 and I pray he lives by the lessons I have taught him. But it’s the very reason his car with a missing side mirror stays parked in our garage. He doesn’t understand it. But I know that you do not give the police any reason to stop you. Not one! Id rather he take the bus until it can be fixed. THIS IS being a black man in America! God bless you and your family!

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  27. Hi Chelsie! Like many folks here I’ve also come to your blog after reading the article about waking up to race and racism in this country after marrying a black man. I am also a white woman, I am also in my late 20s, and I actually also focus a lot of my energy on health (I am working on my website right now … I’m def more of a content person and far less of a website designer i’ve discovered, lol). I practice herbal medicine, sometimes called plant medicine, so I plan to write a lot about that along with other themes of healing. One of those themes is understanding race and racism, and more specifically, what it means to be white. In learning about racism in this country, I’ve learned a lot about the cost of whiteness. And when I say whiteness, I am referring to the “culture” of white people, which, really (and this is part of the cost) is no culture at all. I have found whiteness to be more of a power structure, which led me to understand racism much less as interpersonal, and much more as structural and institutional. This would partially explain the observations you have been making about police in this country over-reacting to people of color, specifically black folks, out of fear, and very often, at the cost of the person’s life — and then why most of these officers are not held accountable for it. We have cultural narratives about what it means to be white, what it means to be black, latinx, asian, etc. And it sounds like from what you’ve said, your husband grew up knowing the narrative well, and perhaps you didn’t. I didn’t, either. Its not common for white people to grow up thinking about race, because we don’t have to. I didn’t know that my experience wasn’t everyone else’s experience. Most of the white parents I know who have white children do not worry about teaching their child how to interact with the police, because its always assumed that the police are there to protect us. As you point out, this might not be true for one of your little boys. He will also be engulfed by this narrative of what it means to be black in this country. Even when you are standing next to him. Parsing through these narratives and seeing how ingrained they are in me (narratives about myself as a woman, as a white woman, narratives I have about black men, black women, immigrants) has helped me wake up to many truths. It has empowered me, and continues to. It has also been very hard, painful, and often lonely. And so I make sure that I have a community of people to do it with. I organize with other people around anti-racism in NYC, actively holding each other accountable to undoing these narratives in ourselves and our communities, and I was wondering if you would like to stay in touch about this. It would be great to share resources about how to further these conversations with our families and communities. And it would be wonderful to see more white folks writing about racism in a transparent way.
    I also read that sweet article about going to the game with your husband and the yelling, etc, and noted when you said you worry a lot about what other people think of you. Most people are afflicted with insecurities, its pretty human, and I also think the extent to which we worry and what we worry about is often related to these larger cultural narratives. There are so many SO MANY expectations placed on women, and even if these messages aren’t transmitted overtly, they are everywhere. All over the media. In just about every book. In our classrooms and textbooks. Check out bell hooks, she is a great author and I think you’d get into it.
    Anyways as I said, if you’re interested in keeping in touch and talking more about race and sharing resources, email me! I have to include my email address in this form, so I imagine you can see it? Let me know!

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  28. This is a pretty courageous article, despite the flaws pointed out by others posted above. And yes, there are undoubtedly flaws in the author’s reasoning. She’s coming to grips with her privilege, and she’s not perfect, but change is a process. Encouraging it is better than lambasting it.

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    1. This comment is potentially racist in several aspects.

      He/she compliments your older (white) son but doesn’t mention your younger (mixed) son. It could imply that the being mixed is not attractive.

      The compliment on your black husband’s sexual appeal can also be traced to stereotypes of black men being massively-hung sexual objects.

      Or am I being too sensitive?

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  29. Seen your article one of my Facebook friends shared and I read. I am a black male and my wife happens to be Cherokee. We had been friends for about 9 years before me and her finally got together 3 years ago and now have been married a little over a year now and I also have a daughter who is African American from a previous relationship so I definitely can relate to your family because we are trying to start our own family which will be a mixed family. We’re from North Carolina which is one of the biggest mixed states in the United States but it does has its flaws but for most part we have never had any trouble with racism but as you stated about other things that is of concern we have always been adamant about what and how we will raise our family to see everyone and treat everyone the same as you would want to be treated because that’s the way myself and my wife’s family have taught us both growing up and that’s how we will raise our kids no matter what. Our family’s have loved each other from the beginning with open arms on both sides. Thats what I’ve loved from the beginning of our friendship to now being a happily loved married couple. Continue to do what you have did with raising your children the RIGHT way and continue to stay blessed. Always remember no weapons formed against you shall prosper…The McDowell Family

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  30. Hello Chelsey, I cried when I read your article. I cried because I am from Toronto and I don’t see what others do. When I look at your picture posted, I see Love, Friendship, Respect, an amazing and protective family. It breaks my heart when I see the negative. Looking forward to going to SLC in a few weeks. Always know that sadly people can be nasty but know that does not include all of us. Have a blessed day and give those 3 men (young and old) a big hug. ❤

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  31. I am black , so is my son! My son wants to marry an European….. Now, I am really scared, for my son is a complete gentleman, my heart would break if he had to go through all your husband did!…

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  32. Chelsie, a wonderful article and a very good insight into the feelings of your situation. I know that as time goes on, there will be more families that are bi-racial…and hopefully in 50 generations 99% of all people will have a similar skin tone. I dated a black woman (I am white) for two years, and she had two bi-racial boys. Since their father was a cop, they were taught to ALWAYS respect the badge and to follow their direction. One of them was with a group of boys – some black and others white – that were involved in a petty robbery. When the police arrived all the boys ran except him. He stayed and answered the cops questions. Guess who got in trouble and who did not?

    Your points are well made, and if I could add one item: too much of the violence you mention is black on black crime, and that needs to be addressed as well IMHO.

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