DIY I Spy Jar for Kids

Today the boys and I made the funnest, cheapest craft and they LOVE it! It’s kept them busy for hours and I couldn’t have found anything easier! What do you need? Let me show you.

First you’re going to want to start with a clear container. We used a mason jar because we had one at home. You can also use a clear water bottle or a plastic container. Whatever you use  is up to you, you just want to make sure that your littles are going to be able to see inside!

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The next thing that you’re going to need is rice.

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Do you need this much rice? Absolutely not
Did we open this bag from the bottom so it’s upside down for this photo? Yes.

You’re only going to need about 3 cups of rice max depending on what else you are going to put into your jar.

Here are a few of the things that we put into ours.

Most of the things that we used were regular household items! A clothes pin, a dime, a bobby pin, paperclip and buttons. The other items are things that I purchased from Hobby Lobby for about $1.99 per bag of small little items. We got a dice, little animals, cupcakes and bells. The leftovers will be used for some other project that I come up with in the future so I’m not opposed to buying in bulk even if I only need 1.

The next thing that you’re going to want to do is pour some rice into your container, and then place a few items in. Pour some rice into the container and place a few items in. Of course it’s going to get mixed up, but it’s nice to have things spread out through the rice. You also don’t want to fill it so full that your child won’t be able to shake it around looking for the items.

When you’re finished you’re going to want to glue the lid down, because if your kids are anything like mine I would have rice in my carpet within 5 minutes of leaving them alone with it.

Your finished jar will look similar to this. We also used green paper in the top because we couldn’t find the middle part of our jar. It works just as well and my son thinks it’s because green is his favorite color so it worked out great!

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I made a list of the items that we put in our jar for my boys to find that goes with the jar. You could obviously type yours if you want it to look nicer but my boys were not patient enough to wait! They now go item by item looking for each of them in the rice. Even from the other room I can currently hear the rice bouncing around in the jar.

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Have fun making yours! We probably spent $6.00 max on this project and it’s now one of our favorites! I’d love to see yours when you finish and I can post them to my blog site!

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To the Mom Who Doesn’t Have Much Time Left

I swear the last 24 hours were some of the scariest of my life. The doctor told me to come into the office because of some of my symptoms and when I was crazy enough to look on the internet for what it could be I did not like what I saw. I over exaggerated the situation in my head. Soon the possibilities engulfed my mind until I couldn’t think about anything else. I was terrified and was sure that I didn’t have very long to live. Silly I know and for those on the outside looking in I probably seemed like nothing short of a crazy person, but seriously I was convinced I was dying.

Waiting for the scheduled appointment seemed like years rather than a day. Time ticked by slower and slower. To pass time I took my boys to the Zoo, it’s one of our favorite places. I watched my boys run carefree and wondered over and over what would happen to them if something really did happen to me. My mind was all kinds of doomsday when all of the sudden something changed. I started reflecting on the past couple of weeks and remembering all of the times that I should have been more patient. I remembered the look on my 4 years old son’s face when I yelled at him for continuously asking me to play with him when I didn’t want to. I thought about walking into my baby’s room at 3 in the morning, tired and sick of him crying. I thought about how harshly I laid him back down and walked away. I knew that I wasn’t expected to be a perfect mom and that sometimes it’s okay to not want to play with my kids or be frustrated by the crying but in this moment I couldn’t help but wish that I can done things differently.

On the drive home my oldest son was rambling about all of the usual things. He talked about Pokemon, told me the difference between hawks and falcons and asked if someday I would take him to see a really honey badger. I listened intently and was amazed and how much he knew. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a boy that is about to go into kindergarten instead of the baby that I had always seen. He was growing up and I had never taken a second to stop and notice.

My baby is needy.Overly needy. He needs to be held, played with and distracted at all times. He won’t even hold his own drink still and he’s 18 months. It’s been the bane of my existence for the last few months but this day I found myself wishing he would stop playing with his brother so that I could cuddle him. When he did find me and reached those little arms up, instead of anger or annoyance I felt a sense of purpose. Slugterra, which apparently is the cool show for boys these days didn’t sound so mind numbing in the background. The noise that I often times can’t seem to escape was calming for my soul because it was my life that I was hearing.

I watched my baby in his crib longer than normal as I laid him down because I wasn’t sure if I would always get to have that view. I laid in my bed and scrolled through pictures in my phone of my family and was so grateful that in those moments I had the right of mind to take them and I found myself wishing I would have taken more. My husband came home and the feeling of love and the desire to take care of him and make him happy was overwhelming. I hugged him and held on longer instead of giving the quick hug and returning to my laundry. I laid in bed watching him do his homework and thought about just how hard he works. I wished that I would have been better at telling him how grateful I was and how much I appreciated what he did for our family. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Needless to say I’m blessed that there isn’t anything wrong with me that can’t be fixed. My heart breaks when I realize that there are those sweet moms out there that have had an end date placed on their life but the reality is that while some might be blessed with more time, it isn’t much time. Every day our children are a little bit older. Each passing hour they learn a little bit more. They are human with real frustrations and feelings that may not seem important to us but to their little minds it is.  Their tears are sadness, pain and frustration just like ours. Sick or not, that view, the one of my child sleeping, it isn’t going to last forever. Someday my children will be grown and I’ll miss the sound of their tiny footsteps coming down the hall. The silence will need to be filled with the TV even if I’m not really watching it.

I don’t want my children to stay little forever because each day that they grow is another day that they get to live and learn and love. But now that I’ve self diagnosed myself and created and overwhelming sense of fear that I might not see those days, I’ve held my children tighter. I’ve kissed my husband longer.I have the desire to do exhausting things with my children that they will look back and remember. I’ve decided that someday my time might be cut short and I don’t want to feel like I did this time. I don’t want to regret as much or wish I had done things differently. Am I going to lose my temper? Absolutely. Am I going to go for a run and then come home and binge eat the left over cake in the fridge? Yes. Probably tomorrow. Am I going to be frustrated with my spouse? Often. But maybe with the knowledge that this life is a short one, regardless of whether it ends at 24 or 105 I can decide to yell less and hug more. I can choose to be happily married instead of being right. I can want to be anxiously engaged or to not be involved. So while the days might seem long and the weeks might seem endless I don’t have much time left and neither do you. We might as well fill it with love, forgiveness, happiness, laughter and more. So stop reading and go kiss someone you love. Now.

to the mom

Teaching your Mini Me’s at Home!

I have a preschool age little boy. He’s the bomb. He seems like the smartest child on the planet and I’m not even being biased, ooooooor maybe I am. But either way, when it came time for preschool we had a hard time finding one to enroll him in. It didn’t have anything to do with no schools being good enough or not being able to find a program that we liked. Unfortunately, it was connected to his bi-weekly visits with his dad. Don’t get me wrong, those visits are the best thing for him, but it’s hard to find a school that allows him to only attend every other week.

I wasn’t stressed. He was so smart that he would be just fine in Kindergarten. Besides, I didn’t go to Preschool and I feel like I’m pretty smart most of the time. The problem came when all of his friends started talking about school. “I can’t play until 12:30 because I have school.” “Today at school we played with paint and I painted a giant picture of an alligator!” Our son was confused. “Why can’t I go to school like everyone else?” He was so bummed out! He had seen enough Daniel Tiger to know that school was supposed to be a pretty fun place. Full of blocks, toys, imagination, coloring, snacks, music and more.

I decided that I wanted to be able to give him as much of that experience as he can possibly have. So every day we have “school.” There is no curriculum, and if one day we miss it, we don’t freak out. But, we LOVE it. Some days are hard because keeping him focused and motivated can be quite the task. However, watching him grow and learn right in front of my eyes is such a great experience!
Even if your little goes to school, we have found some activities that we love doing that promote learning, imagination, and more that can be done anytime!

We follow a simple schedule that includes the following topics.

Monday: Letters, Sounds, Spelling and Reading
Tuesday: Numbers, Adding, and Subtracting
Wednesday: Days of the week and Time
Thursday: Colors and Shapes
Friday: Craft day.

Each day before we dive into our learning for the day, Little Man runs outside to see what the weather is like! He then comes back in and gets to post the weather. I made the “weather” by drawing the pictures on card stock, you can even print them out, and then I laminated them which is obviously completely optional but I KNEW they didn’t stand a chance of survival if I didn’t.

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We also frequently use my sons “dry erase board.” Which was probably THE EASIEST part to make. We have him draw pictures on it that start with the letter we are learning about. He practices writing his letters, his numbers, drawing his shapes and more.

For this part, I took pieces of card stock to the office supply store, and get ready, I LAMINATED THEM. Boom! Dry erase board! We have four of them.

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So he draws these pictures for that day and then after we’re done, I wipe it off and put it away so that it’s ready to use again tomorrow! And when I say away, I mean in this shoe box that I label his “school box.”

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He gets rewarded for paying attention and doing his best. Which is something that at 4, I’m sure is EXTREMELY difficult. We took a trip to the dollar store and purchased some cheap dollar store “rewards.” He picked out jump ropes, bubbles, coloring books, flashlights, puzzles and more. $15.00 later I had rewards to last me forever. After every day, if he’s been good he gets to pick one of these! And let’s be honest, even as an adult stickers are pretty great.

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And he gets to put it on the back of THIS!

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His own personal name tag! I found them at Hobby Lobby for like….$1.99.
And because they were so cheap, I kinda felt like I needed one too. And apparently I’m on a power trip because who are we kidding, I’m not even close to being a teacher….but a girl can pretend right?
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I’m not gonna lie I’m not awesome at this whole thing and there are days that I have no idea what we’re going to do, so I purchased these handy dandy activity books from again, my fave place, the dollar store!

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It really has been such a blessing watching this boy that I swear was born yesterday grow into this wonderful, smart big boy right in front of my eyes! And it was so easy to make it happen!

 

Hello to my Future

It wasn’t long after my divorce that my counselor requested that I do an exercise that at the time I thought was silly. She explained that as time goes on people change, desires change, expectations change and love changes. She knew better than anyone that I had no desire of ever getting remarried, but she still challenged me to write a letter to the person that I would find in my future that would change my mind. I put the letter off for a long time because it seemed silly and so unnecessary. I wasn’t married, I had no desire to get married and I never thought that I would find a man that would understand me or want my baggage. Making a list of desirable qualities in a companion was going to get me nowhere as I didn’t believe in checklists for love.

After multiple visits and her persistence I decided to appease her and write a letter to the man that was apparently going to swoop in and sweep me off of my feet. The challenge literally changed my life. I found so many parts of me that had become so broken that they were hidden very deep down. I found desires and dreams for my future that seemed so impossible that I didn’t dare to chase them for fear of finding disappointment instead. I had instead of making a list of qualities that I wanted in someone, poured my soul out to someone that I didn’t know I would ever find. The girl that was never getting married again finally found a little bit of hope that someday I would have that relationship that I had drafted on paper. The relationship that my heart wanted more than anything regardless of what I told other people.

The other blessing that this letter provided for me was the clarity of what I really expected from a relationship and the aspects of a marriage that had once made me so happy. It really helped me open my eyes to the realities that marriage and relationships are never set in stone but require so much work that is more than worth it. It helped me to become a complete individual looking for another complete individual instead of looking for someone to fill in my gaps.

This letter was sealed and was given to my husband shortly before we got married.

So whether you are married, single or it’s complicated I would ABSOLUTELY urge to write this letter. Put on paper what you want in a relationship and what you need as an individual. It doesn’t have to be a list but rather a prequel to a brand new relationship or a fresh kick off to one that might need some dusting off. Relationships are hard, but sometimes when you put it all out on paper in such a vulnerable way, it doesn’t seem so complicated. Here’s mine, it went a little something like this.

Hello,

If you are reading this, you have decided that you are crazy enough to be stuck with me forever because this time, forever really means forever. A while back from this moment I decided that I wanted to write a letter to whoever the person would be that would take a chance on me and Jax because I wanted to clarify for myself what I wanted, then you came along and here we are. About 8 months ago from writing this, I was married, had a beautiful 1 and a half year old little boy, was living in my own home, had a good job, and was very very happy until my world came crashing down. After that I told myself that I was strong, didn’t need a man, was going to take care of my family alone, and that I would be wise to never trust anyone but myself.

By now I’m hoping that I’ve learned to trust and love without limits in a way that you deserve. Love is a strange thing right? That feeling that gives you butterflies and sweaty palms, makes it so that you can’t think clearly, brings you more joy than you can imagine and also makes you more afraid than you’ve ever been. I’ve always said that the hardest part about being in love is that in order to TRULY love someone, you have to take down all of your walls completely, leaving you ungaurded and defenseless to anything and everything that might hurt you. But the most beautiful thing about love is that you are trusting someone enough not to. I suppose, seeing as how you are reading a letter that has been sealed in an envelope for some time now, you are the person that I’ve decided to trust with the side of me that has been so guarded for so long. If there is anything that I’ve learned from my past it’s that I’m not sure that I believe in fate, or soul mates. I believe that every day you wake up and you decide what you want in life, and then you search for it and fight to keep it. Relationships are hard, marriage is hard, parenting is hard but when you love someone you do hard things together.

I used to think that the phrase “I could never live without you” was romantic, but now I find it sad. The truth is that after the experiences that life has handed me, I know that I can live on my own but hopefully you find it just as romantic as I do when I tell you that I don’t WANT to live without you. Saying that I never could would suggest that whether I wanted to be with you or not I would stay, even if it wasn’t right. A very wise woman once told me that marriage isn’t two people that MAKE each other happy, it’s two happy people that are enjoying their journey together. The journey that we are about to take is going to be long. It’s not going to be easy and there are going to be countless nights and days that we spend stressed or upset. BUT if we can love each other through those moments, the ones that make you want to hide from the world, you get the reward of living through the good ones. The moments that melt your heart, the moments that the sun can’t possibly shine brighter than you. The moments that your cheeks hurt because your smile is so big. The moments that you realize who you are and what you want. You get to live in the moments when time stands completely still because you can’t take your eyes off of all that is in front of you.

So here we go huh? Riding into the sunset. Here is to living a life that is full. Full of Law and Order SVU re-runs. Full of countless trips to the zoo. Full of half-baked Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and brownies. Full of doing the dishes turned water fight. Here is to the late night junk food runs and the nights we can’t keep our hands off of each other. Here’s to the joint workouts and complaining about the pain together just to do it again the next day. Here goes to have to split the DVR so that we can watch our own stuff. Having to fight for your side of the bed at night. Road trips full of loud music and gas station snacks. Dance parties with our kids singing into hair brushes and spoons. Camping, fishing, hiking, looking at the stars, knowing that wherever we are, we are looking at the same moon at night. Tickle wars and TV dinners because heaven knows I’m not that great of a cook. I’m looking forward to growing old ya know? It seems that once you start to grow older your spirit becomes more and more free. I can’t wait to share a seat next to you on our porch swing holding hands and reading a good book looking back and realizing that we made it, together.

This time around I’m doing this the right way. I’m falling so far in love that my knees shake when you kiss my forehead and I want to run to you when I see you because walking doesn’t get me there fast enough. I want a kiss every morning and every night. I want you to know how make a mean smoothie, sing the wrong lyrics to your favorite songs, pull me in and kiss me while I’m yelling at you for leaving your laundry on the floor. I want our children to love Christ and know that their Savior loves them because their mommy and daddy reinforce it every day. I’m ready for you to teach me how to not worry about the little things and help me through the big things. I’m excited to share my life with someone that will love me through the good times because they’re good and through the bad times because we’re fighting for the good ones.

I’m sure by now you know that I have little to no self control when it comes to sweets. I’m grouchy in the mornings and am the pickiest eater you will ever meet even though I say I’m not. I love watching Desperate Housewives in my sweats and you will probably never be able to clean things the way that I like them cleaned. When I’m driving we listen to the music that I want to listen to and when you’re driving it’s probably the same. I tend to complain about pain more than is probably necessary and can be a tad bit judgmental because I always think it’s going to make me feel better about myself and it never does. I can’t hold still long enough to sit through a movie in the movie theater and cuddling with me can be a nightmare because I move entirely to much. But at the end of the day I love harder than a lot of people I know, and I find myself making my sole purpose in life the happiness of my family. I am spontaneous, I play hard and I’m all about fixing what has been broken, even when what is broken is me. I’m ready for the ride of my life and I hope that you are too. I love you, more than I think you will ever know, because you saved us, when it wasn’t your responsibility to do so. When I look at you, I know I’ve truly found love this time.

Love, Chelsie

More than it was helpful for me when I wrote it, this letter has been such a blessing to me since and let me tell you why. I’ve read and re-read this letter and it’s a constant reminder to me that just because we have kids doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t still be spontaneous. It helps me remember that no matter how tired I am it’s still important to have water fights while doing the dishes and that it’s okay for the kids to see us kissing in the kitchen. It’s a reminder that before our day to day life became busy and sometimes monotonous that these were the things that were important to me and that I need to make sure to continue doing them to keep our marriage from becoming old or boring.

It is a reminder that once there was a lack of love in my life and that there was so much of me that so desperately wanted it. I wanted to be loved and feel needed then and now that I am it’s important to do the things that are going to make sure that it lasts forever.

The dark side of being Mom.

I was a vibrant person. I was free. I worked out every day, I shopped for new clothes frequently. I treated myself to lunch and dinner dates with my friends, took naps when I was tired. I loved cuddling up and watching Law and Order SVU while painting my toenails and eating peanut butter cups. I was the weirdo that loved opening up my windows in the spring, turning on the radio and cleaning my house so that I could put up all of the crafts and decorations that I had made in my spare time. Car rides were great because I was always the person rocking out a little too much with my music blaring and my sunroof open, drink of choice in the cup holder. I like to think that I was one of those people that others wanted to be around. I knew who I was. I knew what was important to me and what I stood for. I felt like I had a purpose and was accomplishing things as the days went by. I was the person that wanted to stay up late watching movies and go to Sonic to get a slushy at 1:00 AM. I was so carefree at that time and I felt so much happiness in my day to day living.

After getting married my eyes were always locked on those super cute baby bumps that I saw while out and about. I was always watching the moms talking to their babies while they were at the grocery store like they could understand them. I loved holding babies. Their smell was the best and those little toes were absolutely irresistible. We waited as long as I felt like I possibly could and then we started trying to make a little family a reality for ourselves. Soon I was pregnant. I was the one with the baby bump that strangers were always touching and seeing as how I was already a bad sleeper, (you can only imagine how I was sleeping now). But, nonetheless, I was going to be a mommy! I kept imagining this sense of purpose that I had always been so excited to feel! How perfect would it be knowing that those children needed me in a way that no one else ever would? I wish I would have known that I was about to take on the world’s most thankless job in the world. I wish someone would have told me that instead of improving my sense of purpose, it was possible that being a mom might actually make purpose more of a distant memory.

Our baby came home and things were so different. Getting into the swing of things was a little harder than I expected it to be but soon we had a routine and things were going great. A few short months had passed when I started feeling consistently down. I was always asking myself why when I was supposed to be on cloud 9 I was struggling to crawl out of bed in the morning. I was confused about why I couldn’t look at my child without feeling resentful when he was the most beautiful gift I could have ever been given. The brightness that I had expected to come from being a mom was a little darker than I had imagined it would be. I wasn’t enjoying things the way that other moms told me that I should and the guilt was overwhelming.

I soon became resentful of my husband. Can you believe that? My extremely busy, never has a second to himself husband was soon the target of my imaginary laser beam eyes. I was so jealous that he got to leave the house every day. That he got to go and have lunch with his co-workers. He got to talk with other adults and socialize. His day to day varied in ways that I could have only dreamed that mine would. I felt trapped in every way. Having two kids now my days never changed from the same old schedule. I woke up in the morning to a screaming baby and a hungry 4-year-old. We ate breakfast I cleaned the dishes, I cleaned the house, I did the laundry, I did more dishes, I fed them lunch, I made dinner, I cleaned some more, I did more laundry, I mediated fights, I fed them dinner, I did more dishes, I put them in the shower, I attempted to read them a book, I mediated more arguments, I put them to bed, did some last minute cleaning and then with every ounce of energy I had left I crawled into bed so that the next day I could repeat myself.

I felt my vibrancy leave me. I wasn’t the ray of sunshine that I was always so proud of being. There were so many days that I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I showered, or since I had actually taken time to put on my makeup. The gym which was once my place of solace soon became somewhere that I drove by on my way to the grocery store dreading my shopping trip. My nights of painting my nails and watching something that wasn’t animated were over because I just didn’t have the energy to do it by the time the opportunity presented itself.

What was my purpose? Was it really my job in life to follow these little humans around picking up the same toys day in and day out forever? Was my purpose really to make sure that they got showered and fed while I was going on three days without a shower and I hadn’t eaten all day because I was busy? I continued to push these thoughts to the back of my mind convincing myself that I was selfish for feeling this way, but one day the thoughts that I had been ignoring consumed me. I could hear my children saying that they were hungry but the energy that it required to feed them seemed a million miles away. I looked around my house at the bins of laundry that needed to be done and searched for at least a piece of the floor that was visible through the mess and I broke down.

I don’t think that it’s necessary to tell you about my fight or the day to day that comes with the baby blues or postpartum depression. What I do think is necessary is to explain that you are important. That this role that you’ve taken on as mom is important. I know that sometimes it’s hard to convince yourself to get out of bed in the morning because facing your day makes you feel like your going to implode. I know how it feels to hide in the bathroom, not just to get a second to yourself, but because your thoughts scare you. I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve lost who you are and what is important to you as an individual to the title of being mom. I know the guilt that you feel for feeling this way. I know that you feel selfish and that sometimes that makes it worse. I know that you either eat your feelings or you don’t eat at all. I understand and I want you to know that you are not alone.

I wish that someone would have told me about the dark parts of being mom. I wish that there would have been someone that sat me down and explained that sometimes you lose yourself in what is required of you. Sometimes it’s not even postpartum that gets you but rather the loss of time that you get to spend alone. The lack of money that you have to buy yourself a treat for your hard work. Sometimes it’s sleepless nights, the endless days, the 6 lunches that you tried to feed your kids that all went to waste. It’s the time you lose with your spouse, it’s the time that you can’t go out with the girls. I wish that these beautiful angels would have come with a disclaimer and a warning that things could and would get a little bit more tough than I think I was ready for.

But here is the rainbow to this doomy gloomy post, there is help for the now and it does come to an end because those little ones will soon be grown. The person that you felt like you used to be is still the person that you are but maybe in different ways. My children aren’t new babies anymore and while I may feel like I’m beyond that darker time in my life for now these are the things that I found saved me from being completely consumed.

1. Know that you are more than just mom. Those little ones depend on you for everything I know, but sometimes it’s easy to forget that you are an individual with needs and feelings and passions. Those things require to be explored otherwise you find yourself feeling empty inside. You work hard. Harder than anyone that you’ll ever meet and you deserve to be rewarded for that. Ask a neighbor or a friend to watch your kids for an hour and ABUSE THAT HOUR! Go to the gym, take a drive, get your nails done, get a massage, sit in your car and rock out to your favorite throwback music. Do whatever it takes to continuously remind yourself of who you are and what you love.

2. Exercise and Eat Healthy. There is so much stress that can build up inside of you that desperately needs to find a way out. It’s like a disease and it will continue to spread until it’s under control. Whether you choose to do yoga, run, stretch, lift weights or take your kids for a long walk, get out and get moving. Eating healthy is hard. There you go, I said it. It’s hard and it sucks. However, you will find that what you put into your body will play a large part in the energy levels that you carry throughout the day as well as how you feel.

3. Watch your children sleep for 5 minutes. That’s it. After they fall asleep, which I know sometimes is the best part of the day that you just had, just watch them. There is something about your sleeping child that tends to help you remember just how beautiful they are. You get 5 quiet minutes where they can’t interrupt your thoughts to remind yourself that they are only children. I always found myself getting lost in the memories of them as they’ve grown. Don’t take more than 5 because remember, you need your time. I can promise that if you’ll take those short minutes, you will feel a refreshed love and appreciation for your sweet babies.

4. See a doctor. I am not one that will immediately tell someone to run to a doctor because I always feel that there are other ways and means to resolve feelings and thoughts. However, there are a lot of times when seeing a doctor will allow you to start winning the war that is raging inside of you. Life was never meant to be miserable forever. There are moments in your life that are waiting to be enjoyed. If you feel that your thoughts are scary and beyond your control or that you can’t find joy in your day to day, please seek the help that I can promise you from experience will open your eyes to the joys this life has to offer.

Remember that you are important and that while being mom is the most amazing gift you could ever have asked to be blessed with, there is more to you than this special title. There is a vibrant, beautiful, smart person under the stresses that you feel. So yes, while I am the mom of 2 beautiful boys and the wife of one amazing husband and the maid, and the accountant and the personal shopper and the personal banker and the doctor and the chef and the therapist and the taxi driver and so much more, I am still Chelsie, and I don’t deserve to be forgotten.

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